Thursday, May 13, 2010

I did the good thing, waited for marriage, but my guy sucks in bed. What do I do?

Me and my husband are both Christians, and wanted a real Christian wedding. On our wedding night, I thought it was just nerves, but we've been together for over 6 months and there's still nothing goin on down there. Of course divorce is out of the question, but is it too much to ask for satisfaction in the bedroom? I keep searching for the moral solution to this problem and I just can't think of one.I did the good thing, waited for marriage, but my guy sucks in bed. What do I do?
Train him to do what you want.I did the good thing, waited for marriage, but my guy sucks in bed. What do I do?
1: What exactly does he suck in bed ?


(Sorry, but I am English and I do not understand the phrase, it could be a good thing for you, or a bad thing for his teeth)





2: You need happiness in your life, he is your husband he should provide it, if he is not willing or able, then you have to seek some redress.





3: You both went into this marriage with your eyes clouded somewhat by religious beliefs. You should now discus the matter fully and openly and come to a solution that is acceptable to you both, even it is divorce, which is much easier before you have children.


You have the rest of your life to think about, you do not want to look back on a sad and boring existence of deep misery and regret.
Hey!





Wow, you're question about abstaining from sex in the Politics section got you an answer that talked about how wonderful it is not to sleep with anyone but your husband lead to this????





I'm sorry, I had to check your former questions. Several factors didn't ring true in your question (Like 'my guy sucks in bed' which was a little cruel for a wife to say in a public forum and the fact that you know that he sucks, considering if you were a virgin, you'd have no basis for comparison), so I had to background check you.





Have a great day!





Luv ya,


Tashi :)
Communication. Maybe he has some inhibitions. Some inhibitions are actually acceptable. But, perhaps, he may be intimidated. This is a problem I once had myself. There may be something that he believes or finds unacceptable about pushing himself too far. He may, actually be concerned about how you feel about that. It could be a lack of confidence, as well. In my opinions, there are some lines that should not be crossed. But, it may just be that he actually loves you for more that just your body, and he doesn't know how to express that.
Did you pray about it? Ask him, your husband, what he wants, sexually and tell him what you want. Together and respectfully explore your sexual desires. Be open and loving about it as this can be a touchy subject (no pun intended- for real). Frustration will only make it worse. Try to make things comfortable and fun not like your going in for a drivers exam with a check list! Lol.
Talk to him (gently) about it. Encourage him to try new things. Tell him when something feels good and listen/learn when he is enjoying something. Get over your morals and buy a sex techniques book. Try various things from it with out making a production about it. Experiment with oral sex both for him and with you. Tie him up and masturbate to an orgasm in front of him or have him do that to you.





Just like any sport, you need to practice various techniques to be good at them, the nice thing is that the practice is pretty fun as well!





Remember that the biggest sex organ is your brain.
Communication is the key. People don't just know what to do in bed, they learn, just like everything else in life. Don't be afraid to let him know what you want, but also make sure you ask what you can do for him as well, it is a two way street. Try making a game out of it, ';Find the sweet spot'; is a good one.
see where religious superstition gets you? frustration... i had a friend who waited for marriage as well. then she found out that her husbands 10 inch penis wasn't very comfortable to be with, so they got a divorce. i guess god works in mysterious ways! lol... seriously though, if there were a god who really cared whether or not you had sex before marriage, don't you think he would have awarded you with a husband to equal your sexual prowess?
Congratulations, you passed the biggest test Satan puts before Christian couples: Sex before marriage (ie fornication).





You should have gotten some premarital counseling by your Pastor before the wedding day.





If not, try getting the book by Gary Smalley called ';The Act Of Marriage.'; Have him read it too, and remember that communication is the key.





Both my wife and I were virgins when we got married over 23 years ago. Believe me, it only gets better as time goes by.
Well luckily being a good lover is not a genetic thing - it is an acquired ability. There are classes, books, tapes, DVD's, counselors and other things available to help guide %26amp; teach a less than knowledgeable partner in the area of intimacy. So - what's the problem? No one is BORN knowing these things....
The moral solution is you answering the question ';Which is more important to me, my marriage, or my sex life?';





While you mull that over, go to WalMart and pick up one of these: http://www.peaksalesandmarketing.com/ima鈥?/a>
Contrary to what women think, men are not mind readers. But, we are willing to try just about anything that a woman puts in front of us. It goes back to the whole Adam and Eve thing. Anyway, try this, now stay with me here and let me know if I lose you, ';TELL HIM WHAT YOU LIKE AND TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT HIM TO DO!';. I guarantee your mutual pleasure. And quit with the mind reading crap already, sheeesh!
The responses above are funny. Trouble is waning faith. Jesus didn't come to save your orgasms. Fear of God brings wisdom. Loving God brings joy. Craving sex is putting your desires before Him. Pray for the answer. God is there to listen if you make Him your first priority.
get a book and read up on techniques. Rent an erotic movie and try some of the moves from the pros. Buy some cool things like big shaped pillows or swings for the bedroom so you can get more creative and broden your horizons.


Good Luck!
ha, that sucks hard. Um, try marriage counseling, there are some pretty great sex therapists out there. Or just start off by telling him exactly what you want him to do, some guys need a map.
If it was your first time for both of you, of course you won't be experienced. You both need to experiment and practice. You don't know anything from birth, except how to poop eat and cry. :)
Hmmm, your question about ';deviant'; behavior makes think I've sniffed out a troll..................
Buy a copy of the new edition of the Joy of Sex.





read it. get him to read it.





make him talk about it





stuff like this shows why we need sex education in schools
Have you asked him about his opinion of your bedroom performance? Maybe need some more communication.
Is oral sex against your religion? Because seriously... most women need stimulation in more than one place to achieve orgasm. That's a fact.
And here is yet another example of how superstition is harmful.





I'm taking this question lightly since I don't know if it's serious or not, but why not just teach him nicely how to improve?
Never, ever, ever buy with out a test drive.
Too bad, cos good sex doesn't exist in heaven either.


You should of got it out of your system when you could.
This is why sex before marriage is the right thing to do!!! if your sex life is crap your marriage will suffer!!!






Teach him a few new moves. You have to put a some effort into these things and make them develop the way you want.
Hmm.. what does he suck in bed?


I didn't think gay marriage was allowed between christians.
Buy a dildo.
Some women would love that from their guy. Oh, not that kind of sucking.
There's the problem right there. You're both christians and let your religion dictate your lives.


christianity is not of Awesome God.





You could go but Kama Sutra books or Tantric Sex books to improve but I guess that would be going against your bible.





God is Love, Love is God.


Trust Love.


Peace, love, calm and positivity to all.
Have an affair with your next door neighbor.
Just lie back and think about England.

What happen when you get marriage in massachusetts as same sex marriage?

then you move to california? will the state accept your same-sex-marriage?What happen when you get marriage in massachusetts as same sex marriage?
The marriage is only valid in a state that recognizes same sex marriage. Until the federal government declares that same sex couple will be given the same rights on a federal level as traditionally married couples, your 'marriage' will not be valid in other states, unless they, also, recognize same sex unions.What happen when you get marriage in massachusetts as same sex marriage?
I'm pretty sure the other state won't accept it unless they already accept it for their own residents.
What counts is what state you were married in, so if you go to California nothing happens.
Um, not to be snarky but - this question belongs in M%26amp;F because...?
No
no!
no...

Why is it that a western women has to be the centre of a marriage?

even if you have three children together, it's all got to be about her, and even if she is not working.Why is it that a western women has to be the centre of a marriage?
Children are certainly do have a very high importance in the family system, but the marriage should be the priority in the family. If the women is not happy and the marriage is not solid, those children will suffer! Whether your wife works or not has no relevance to the happiness of the family. Women who work are unhappy too. In fact, when you say your wife complains and sleeps all of the time, I am inclined to believe she may be clinically depressed and would perhaps benefit from seeing her doctor. I say out of concern for your wife as a health professional.





On another note, the happiness of women in this world depends on a great many things. Support and love from her spouse and children and a spiritual outlook are very necessary parts of this. This is not negotiable, this is nature. Couples become unhappy because they do not understood the laws of nature and our true purpose in this world. If we understand our purpose and become equal with the laws of nature, we can have harmony in our relationships. I would encourage you to read the following links if you are interested in learning more.





My best to youWhy is it that a western women has to be the centre of a marriage?
not western women, AMERICAN WOMEN AND BRITISH WOMEN....





is the anglo culture where women are entitled to become fat pigs and they remain BBW, get real hahaha





is the culture where women abuse and do whatever the hell they want with their man and the man has to take it because she is the woman and times have changed





I dont know where youre from but I live in the US and I wouldnt touch the average american woman with a 10 inch pole!!! they are disgusting, selfish, ignorant, abusive, lazy.....





I would only marry foreigner women!!!
it's you, not her. You want a woman to be reasonable, you got to tame her. Their like mustang horses. They don't like to be told what to do, or how to do it, want to go where they want to go, and when they want, its them first alot(but not all of the time) you got to ride her to tame her. they wont admit this, but it's true. if your not blowing her away in the sack, you got little chance of ever changing things, sorry that's just the truth. So, knock her socks off. Then you got no problem. If not, you'll never stand on equal ground. your marriage will suck.





Oh man, after reading your additional info, ah, nevermind, you go tto give her a wake up call. Don't know how though for you. Good luck
I've seen it before. Some mideastern or Asian guy marries a western woman and then complains about what he got. Did it ever occur to you, that's the best you can do and that decent western women don't want the likes of you?
Put her in her place or kick her to the curb. Your woman is the issue not all western women are like that.
You say you have 3 children TOGETHER but she is not WORKING? Think about how silly that sounds for a sec, then ask yourself why you asked the question.
Because men are not as fun to look at or talk to.





LOL at wonderou...a 10 INCH pole? You better google the phrase you misquoted. Only a foreigner wouldn't catch that quick mind...till they can speak English at least.
not all western wives are divas........

How do you feel about gay and lesbians that are angry about the gay marriage ban targeting Mormon churches?

They can be angry. The problem I have is all the vandalism that has been going on at LDS churches and temples that you don't hear about in the national news. The media doesn't care. It's despicable. Here in Utah you hear about some type of vandalism happening every day. Envelopes with powder being sent to temples. Protesters disrupting regular worship services, disrupting people's right to practice their religion. Then some of the blogs I've seen with gay people saying their going to murder all the Christains. If there were people doing this to gay organizations then you'd hear about it like crazy.


The proponets of gay marraige are just as fanatical and practice the same amount of bigotry as those they say are against gay marraige. There's a lot of hipocrisy going around. It's interesting to see that some gay marraige proponents profess they just want equality, but when it comes right down to it, most are not willing to offer that same equality to those they disagree with. They ignore the right of the Mormon members to believe how they want and take part in the political process how they want and use scare tactics and threats because these people believed how they chose to and practiced there right to vote.


Maybe that's just part of being human. We all believe our way is the right way and every one who doesn't believe how we do is just ignorant or stupid and some day they'll come around. We never, of course, try to understand where the other person is coming from or why they believe the way they do. God forbid we actually try and understand each other peacfully and come to a conclusion we can both agree on. And BOTH SIDES are at fault for this, so don't go on reading this thinking, ';Oh yea, that other side is totally like this.'; I'm talking to YOU!


What it comes right down to is that every one who voted in prop. 8 had a right to vote one way or another and shouldn't be ridiculed and denegraded for the way they believe. I can understand peaceful protesting, but all the vandalism and voilence that you don't hear about in the national news is unacceptable. How do you feel about gay and lesbians that are angry about the gay marriage ban targeting Mormon churches?
I don't have a problem with them being angry- that's not a problem. It's when that anger gets expressed inappropriately, illegally, and violently that I get worried.





When non-Mormon women try to take down signs posted illegally on LDS temple fences and get beaten for it... That is a problem.





When people (of unknown affiliation) swerve to hit the children of Prop8 supporters... That's a problem.





When people are protesting illegally (without a permit), that is a problem.














Feeling angry when receiving a perceived injustice is only human, and it would be inappropriate for me to tell others they're wrong for feeling as I would feel if I were in their shoes... but allowing one's anger to harm or endanger others is simply not acceptable.





Their hate-in-the-name-of-love is a pretty darn hypocritical. I think they want us to condone, rather than simply tolerate, their chosen lifestyle.





The people of California have spoken.. twice (2000, 2008), but the homosexual community is still unwilling to accept that they live in a democracy and therefore are bound by the will of the majority.








Some are calling Mormons hypocritical because we were once also the victim of legislation limiting our marriage priveleges (no, it's not a right!). Granted, we didn't like it. The law was written and passed with an unconstitutional end in mind (Government is not to limit religious practice- it's in the Bill of Rights.), but we've complied, even when it meant broken homes, husbands and wives never being able to see each other again. But, since ';we believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates in honoring, obeying, and sustaining the law'; as a church, we complied.How do you feel about gay and lesbians that are angry about the gay marriage ban targeting Mormon churches?
How do I feel? Well, they have a right to feel like they are being treated unfairly, just as I have a right to believe what they are doing and *want* to do, is sinful. Anytime the world takes a basic gospel principle and says it's contrary to what God intended, that's not a good thing. They may have ';Rights'; but that doesn't make it ';right.';





It's sad that they feel the need to single out the LDS church. There were many other organizations who supported Prop 8. I don't mean they should be harrassing everyone who supported it... it's just sad they think they need to.





Oh well. It will blow over for a while, then I am sure it will come up again and next time it might not pass..
middle eastern mythology should never mix with politics. and the only reason homosexuality is an ';issue'; is cause of the religion, they make it an issue. before christianity, homosexuality was acceptable in europe. its not an issue for us, its only love. what on earth makes it right for them to tell people who are they allowed to love?
They have the right to be angry, but they don't have the right to attack any people with so much hatred. How would you feel if someone targeted your place of worship? It's not right. We need peace, not hate.
they have a right to be angry...just think, what would you do if you werent aloud to marry someone you really loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with?
I'd say they should be angry. In fact, I think heterosexuals should be angry. So, why aren't they? Bigotry, I would have to say.
It's the ';I'm tolerant as long as I always get my way'; philosophy.
they can be mad if they want to.

Why is it that a western women has to be the centre of a marriage?

even if you have three children together, it's all got to be about her, and even if she is not working.Why is it that a western women has to be the centre of a marriage?
Children are certainly do have a very high importance in the family system, but the marriage should be the priority in the family. If the women is not happy and the marriage is not solid, those children will suffer! Whether your wife works or not has no relevance to the happiness of the family. Women who work are unhappy too. In fact, when you say your wife complains and sleeps all of the time, I am inclined to believe she may be clinically depressed and would perhaps benefit from seeing her doctor. I say out of concern for your wife as a health professional.





On another note, the happiness of women in this world depends on a great many things. Support and love from her spouse and children and a spiritual outlook are very necessary parts of this. This is not negotiable, this is nature. Couples become unhappy because they do not understood the laws of nature and our true purpose in this world. If we understand our purpose and become equal with the laws of nature, we can have harmony in our relationships. I would encourage you to read the following links if you are interested in learning more.





My best to youWhy is it that a western women has to be the centre of a marriage?
not western women, AMERICAN WOMEN AND BRITISH WOMEN....





is the anglo culture where women are entitled to become fat pigs and they remain BBW, get real hahaha





is the culture where women abuse and do whatever the hell they want with their man and the man has to take it because she is the woman and times have changed





I dont know where youre from but I live in the US and I wouldnt touch the average american woman with a 10 inch pole!!! they are disgusting, selfish, ignorant, abusive, lazy.....





I would only marry foreigner women!!!
it's you, not her. You want a woman to be reasonable, you got to tame her. Their like mustang horses. They don't like to be told what to do, or how to do it, want to go where they want to go, and when they want, its them first alot(but not all of the time) you got to ride her to tame her. they wont admit this, but it's true. if your not blowing her away in the sack, you got little chance of ever changing things, sorry that's just the truth. So, knock her socks off. Then you got no problem. If not, you'll never stand on equal ground. your marriage will suck.





Oh man, after reading your additional info, ah, nevermind, you go tto give her a wake up call. Don't know how though for you. Good luck
I've seen it before. Some mideastern or Asian guy marries a western woman and then complains about what he got. Did it ever occur to you, that's the best you can do and that decent western women don't want the likes of you?
Put her in her place or kick her to the curb. Your woman is the issue not all western women are like that.
You say you have 3 children TOGETHER but she is not WORKING? Think about how silly that sounds for a sec, then ask yourself why you asked the question.
Because men are not as fun to look at or talk to.





LOL at wonderou...a 10 INCH pole? You better google the phrase you misquoted. Only a foreigner wouldn't catch that quick mind...till they can speak English at least.
not all western wives are divas........
  • bourjois
  • How would GOD of answered the gay marriage question?

    Gos is not about hate.How would GOD of answered the gay marriage question?
    This is the best argument I have heard against gay marriage.





    Gay marriage doesn't satisfy life's purpose








    It is amazing to me the extent that people will go to in order to achieve their personal goals. Take, for example, Prop. 8 that was on the ballot . This is the second time the California voters have passed this law, and yet those who fought against Prop. 8 continue to fight against the will of the people.





    They keep saying this is a religious issue. That is not true. Everyone needs to answer the question of “What is the purpose of life?” Leaving religion out of the answer, as well as the Bible and personal opinions, there is only one answer that can be given that will satisfy the laws of NATURE. That answer is: “Reproduce yourself and your species.”





    Can two female or two male marriage partners conform to this law? No! So, this is not a religious issue alone. It is an issue that defies the laws of nature. The animal, bird, fish, insect, and plant kingdoms all live this law. They reproduce themselves as per nature's laws.





    If any of these kingdoms failed to live this law, their kingdom would become extinct in a short period of time. If the plant kingdom failed to live this law, there would be no food for man or animals to eat. We would soon become a dead planet.





    Only man wants to defy this law of nature. In so doing, they become destroyers of, rather than contributors to, the human race.





    Society is based on the family of husband wife and children. This is how the next generation rises. I can just see states or countries legalizing gay marriage and then losing population.How would GOD of answered the gay marriage question?
    Those that claim gay marriage is against the Bible don't know what they are talking about. If they were that educated with their Bible they'd realize that there are two instances of gay marriage in the Bible--believe it or not because it's true, but many don't realize it and aren't taught it in their church!





    Check out I Samuel 18 on up and read carefully. Also, some translations aren't the greatest as the Bible wasn't translated correctly, but it still gives a clear picture. However, knowledge of what certain words meant in Biblical times is important to get anything out of the text.





    Sorry to give a bit of a sermon but I'm tired of hearing people talk about how the Bible is against homosexuality when the Bible was not translated correctly. For instance, many quote Leviticus 18:22 as ';Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.';


    It's actually translated a bit wrong, but it's easy to see how it got messed up because this is the correct translation, ';And with a male, thou shalt not lie down in a woman's bed; it is an abomination.';





    What was the abomination were two men in a WOMAN'S bed because back then a woman's bed was sacred and the only man that should touch a woman's bed was her husband.





    Again sorry for the sermon, but I'm tired of all the nonsense concerning this issue and those bringing up the Bible when they don't even have the knowledge of the Bible as it was translated wrong in many instances. Another quick example, many are raised to believe Jesus was a carpenter. That is false! The word that was translated into carpenter actually meant a person that worked with their hands. Jesus was most likely a mason--worked with stones. It doesn't take a genius to realize that part of the world still doesn't have all that many trees and they don't seem to have an over abundance of wood.
    he already has...in the US anyways. ALL indivduals were granted equal rights. I am sure that GOD would be ashamed to know that religious dogma's and fear are interfering with the rights of other individuals who do not share one faith. Remember, we were granted inaliable rights (freedom of religion) by the Creator, not by the US government.
    the question is which one, if you are asking a gay person, he might say he does not believe in god so then it is not a bad thing because its a mutation of the brains function of atraction. in this case its the same for some animals. for conservatives they think god will condem them to hell for ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    That would depend on which version of God you believe in, and where in the religious book you go to find out.





    I believe in the Bible myself, so I'll go with that one. The Bible does state on a number of occasions that homosexuality is considered a sin.





    However, Jesus also states that we were not to force our beliefs on others. We were to go door-to-door and person-to-person, using reason and scripture, not law and force, to show others why they should WANT to be a part of God's Kingdom; and then let them make their own choice.





    How God would handle it is between God and the person answering to Him at the time. If you believe in the Bible, you will have to answer to God for your sins, I will have to answer for mine, and everyone else on down the line.





    But how God would want us to handle it? Jesus made that pretty clear. For this situation, we were to go to homosexuals and tell them about the Bible, God's plan, what Jesus did and why it matters to them, etc. Then, they must make their own choice and decide their own beliefs.





    But God gave me my choice on what I believe about Him and how I serve Him. And it is incumbent upon me to make sure that I allow others, ALL OTHERS, that same choice.
    He already did: Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
    ';I'f I'm bicurious, and I'm somehow created from God, then I figure God must be a little bicurious himself.'; - Butters, South Park
    According to Christian fundamentalists, god is an intolerant homophobe.
    I assume that if God did not approve of gays, he wouldn't have made them.
    He bought it up. Didn't he? I thought he ran everything.
    Burning bush(es).
    With peace and love, and mass murder.
    He would answer NO FAGS!
    The same way Ms CA did...
    God does not allow Gay marriage.

    What do you guys think about gay marriage?

    Im just curious. R u for or against it in the US, why or why not?What do you guys think about gay marriage?
    I'm not gay .But I believe in freedom of choice and liberty .I don't know why any one cares as long as they don't have to sleep between them .For that matter what business it is of anyone else .People would be better of worrying about their own marriage instead of what some one else is doing in their house .Maybe so many marriages wouldn't end in divorce if they did .Besides that ,couldn't they claim common law marriage after living together so long .Hell let them start a family too, if they can figure out how to have kids .I got enough to think about in my life than to lay awake at night worrying about other people .If its against gods law then god will straighten them out .He don't need a bunch of busy bodies down here doing his job for him.What do you guys think about gay marriage?
    I feel that people are people and if you want to be with a person that happens to be the same gender it is perfectly normal you love who you love and if someone dose not like it too bad cause it's your decision!!!!!
    I don't see why not. Marriage is just a convinient tax situation.





    Why should the government force you to join with someone you're not interested in to get the same rights as a M/F couple.
    I wonder how this even got to be an issue. Why people care I will never ever know. I certainly don't care if two people of the same sex get married. Seriously who does care? Why would people care about what other people do with their life.
    I am actually against it. Marriage is truly something between a man and woman, involving deeper feelings than lust. Gay people...if they wanna get together, that's their own business. Besides the whole religion thing, if being gay is simply some sort of hormonal imbalance, then would they truly love each other for their personalities? And say they did...but straight men can love each other without getting married either. It's complicated...but it just doesn't make sense, and is just going to cause a whole lot of trouble if it is passed.
    Honestly I don't really care. If 2 people are willing to share a commited life together than who am I to stop them? Its hard enough getting straight people to commit, why stop others from doing it?
    Marriage is a religious institution, over which the Church has full jurisdiction. The state has no say in religious matters, so this is a non-issue. ';Moral'; conservatives who wish to impose their narrow-minded view of morality and humanity upon the rest of us are pushing this as an issue.





    The last time we had God in charge of government, we had the Crusades, the Inquisition, and a Church filled with corruption from the top down. I, for one, will not live on my knees, coerced to bow down before your silly ideas of right and wrong.
    Probably just as tedious as it is for most hetero's I would imagine.
    I am against Gay Marriage. Because the definition of marriage is the holy union of 1 man and 1 woman. I am all for Gays to have a ';Civil Union which gives them the same Governmental rights as marriage.
    I think marriage is a personal choice. The government has no business getting involved. Who cares who marries whom.
    Why not let them be miserable like the rest of us. lol





    If normal marriage is so good and ';holy';, why do 50% end up in divorce?
    If your gay your gay OK take the civil unions and be happy. Why do gays always have to make a big production out of their sexuality.They just want to be allowed to marry for acceptance but homosexually will never be a norm of any society