How does my husband save our marriage of 15 yrs.?

It has been very hard with cheating, a mystery child, abusive while pregnant, verbally abusive and just selfish, etc. How do I forgive and move on OR should I just plain move on because enough is enough? We have 2 toddlers.How does my husband save our marriage of 15 yrs.?
I'm going to guess a few things.





You're on the downhill side toward 40 years old. You don't have any current job skills. You can't pay for child care if you have to work. If you divorce, bad man will pay a few months of child / spouse support and then stop / start for a few months at a time.





Let's say bad man is out of the place by separation / divorce. You're out of money, doing 40 hours a week hard mental and physical work as a waitress or secretary. That means you need about three hours every day to commute, get kids ready, get kids back, feed and bathe them, love and play with them for a little, and get them to bed. Oh, and take days off without pay when they're sick, risking the job. Even more ';oh';, watch their tears as you drive off in the morning.





I don't see the part where the kids are better off. They don't care if it's hard for you. They're trying to grow up. That takes another 15 years.





I'm sorry about the part where they don't care about your sex life or forgiveness issues. You put 'em here. You're their protection. I was the kid through two divorces and heard all the excuses. The grownups always say it'll be better for the kids because it'll be better for them. It's not that easy. The kids are rarely better off. The bad man's going to get visitation (lots of arguments) and expose them to his lousy life of floozies and illegitimate kids (even more arguments). Leaving the bad man doesn't take him out of the kids' lives. And 2/3's of second marriages fail if you're counting on that to save you.





Your feelings and the bad man's feelings are number two priority. Two small hearts and lives are number one. If you get enough anger (and you just might), finish a 1-2 year plan where you get solid job skills and find a wonderful, affordable, grandma lady for day care. Until you can guarantee the kids a better life, I will hope and pray for strength for you. It will be too much to bear. But so is raising toddlers. Growing up without a dad is way worse than the other answers would have you believe. Make the divorce step the very last possible option. It's the message your toddlers would give you if they were looking back 15 years from now.How does my husband save our marriage of 15 yrs.?
Apparently none of this was new behavior since you were married for a long time before decided to made a couple children. To stay or move on should be based on whether HE has decided to change his behavior for the sake of the marriage, or are you just putting up with it for the sake of the family?!?
I don't think he wants to save the marriage. After all, he was comfortable with another woman so much he had unprotected sex and a child came of his affair. It's past moving on. Run for the sake of your self-respect, self esteem and the toddlers.
look let me share something with you....years ago I was in the same situation.....but kept believing that he would change....long story short ...it got worse he even spent 3 mos in jail for the physical abuse he inflicted on me......I finally took my two babies and walked out of the relationship...I believe I saved my life by doing that.....after the dust settled i came to find out he had several affairs and had pregnated two other women....very sad...but I';m glad its over...I'm a better person today by having left that bastard behing....good luck
move on..ur kids are still little n will adjust better now than in a couple of years when he does it again.he will neva change....you may decide 2 forgive him out of the goodness of ur heart but 4 d sake of ur children,do not go back 2 him.wat would u do if he hurts ur kids??
Move on. Cheating and creating a child. You will always wonder and be insecure with your relationship with him. You will be miserable and you will never truly get past it.
Enough is enough! Your kids should be your number one priority, do you really want them around that kind of behavior? I wouldn't! Do what's best for you and your children.
enough is enough save yourself and your kids from this monster. you and your children deserve better.
if your still beig abused move as fast as you can.


I AM IN THE PLAYPEN WITH SWEET MILDRED
Move on. Its unhealthy for you and the 2 toddlers to stay.





Good luck
what do you mean save... sounds like there is no hope for this relationship, Move on!!!!