Is the first year of marriage really hard?

Why do they say that the first year of marriage is so hard? What's so hard about it? I mean, most people have already been in a committed relationship for awhile before they get married, so why should it suddenly become hard after marriage?Is the first year of marriage really hard?
The first year is only hard if the couple didn't know each other very well. Some people get married after knowing each other for less than a year, so a lot about the other person is still a mystery. There are also changes like living together, and committed sex vs. dating sex that are big adjustments.





I'm 3 months into my first year of marriage, and it's pretty much the same as before. It's better in some ways. However, my husband and I have been together over 7 years, and lived together for 3.5 before getting married. We always planned to get married from about our 2nd year of dating, we just weren't in a hurry.





Both living together and merging finances were MAJOR changes, but we did that all before getting married so now it's just part of life. Couples who don't live together before marriage may find themselves struggling to deal with all of this at once... perhaps even more so if one person has to move. So it's not marriage that makes things hard, it's the transition of living with someone and becoming their life partner.Is the first year of marriage really hard?
The first year of marriage is only hard if you have never lived with your spouse before getting married, or have issues with sharing finances. The most common problems for newlyweds is being exposed to behaviors and personality traits while living together that perhaps were muted or absent prior to the marriage. Also, if you've had separate finances prior to being married, and then begin to share expenses and income, you may find out that your spouse is terrible with money or irresponsible.


Those issues, in the long run, are the easiest to deal with, so the first year of marriage, in my opinion is the easiest. When you are married for several years, much bigger problems arise such as long-term resentment, issues with children, losing the romantic spark, infidelity concerns, a whole host of problems. So the first year is a make-or-break year because if you can't get over those silly initial problems, you won't make it long enough to deal with the more deep-seeded issues 5, 10, 20 years down the road.
That first year is when you realize that you've made what's supposed to be a lifelong commitment. It's also when a lot of people are establishing boundaries of acceptable behavior, and there's a lot of negotiating.





When you move in with a new roommate, often the expectations are right there up front, but in a marriage, a couple often decides to establish boundaries as problems occur. When a roomie doesn't work out, it's simple...kick him/her out. With marriage, it's not as easy and partners can quickly take each other and each other's boundaries for granted.





Those first two years are so important in establishing a comfortable balance of power and responsibility in a marriage, and are usually the hardest. Negotiate well in those two years, and you'll do fine.
It's my 1 year anniversary on Sunday, and I can say yes it has been hard. Not unbearable certainly, but hard. But like the other answer said, marriage is hard! You have to really work at it and make compromises and sacrifices for each other.





We lived together for 2 years before marriage and this year has been both the toughest and the most rewarding. We have both matured and become more comfortable in our relationship. I especially realized that I had a certain idea about what marriage ';should'; be like and had to move beyond my cliched expectations and deal with the real man in my life.





I can't wait for the next 50 years with him =)
Marriage does change the dynamics of the relationship, but it doesn't have to be hard. A good friend of mine had a terrible first year, but she's dragged a lot of her own insecurities into her marriage and finds it very difficult to be easy going, respectful and sensitive to her husband. They have had fights resulting in physical fiascos and it's just nuts.


On the other hand, my husband and I found our pregnancy that came in the 3rd month of our marriage to be the trying time for us (where we had a few fights due to all the changes and stress... but we always worked it out), and we still were doing well enough :) I'd say our first year of marriage was not that difficult and in fact very enjoyable, and it is what you both make it.





I think many just want to feel normal so they'll tell you it'll be awful because it was for them. Well all in all, the first year was wonderful for us.
I think the first year of marriage is hard only if you make it that way. It is the time where you are trying to adapt being together sharing your space with another person. I have been married for 9 years and looking back at everything i have been through in my marriage that was in fact the easiest year of our marriage. I am always the one my girlfriends run to for advice. Just try to enjoy each other and pick your battles. because the things that you will fight about your first year will seem so petty for the things that you have in-store in the years to come. But one sure thing that seems to be repeating is about kids. I am not sure if you have kids with him. But one thing i found that once we had kids. I didn't want a man that wasn't present in his kids lives that was only around for the good moments and never the bad ones like 2 am. feedings for example. But anyway when you do get to that point include him in everything that you do with your child instead of telling him it is something he has to do. That way he will always want to do those things. I have girlfriends that didn't believe me when i told them and now they are stuck doing everything for there kids crying that they feel like a single mother. I did it and my husband is involved in every aspect of my children's lives but i start before they were even born with doctors visit; then the midnight feeding ect.
it's about letting go of all of your personal possessions and referring to them as ';ours'; instead of ';mine';. Like income, this is a big one. Just because one person might make $40k/year, and the other $80k/year, doesn't mean the one with the higher income has more say (or more money). It's about those two people, viewing each other as complete equals, and only referring to their combined income, not each individuals. This applies to assets too.


Plus, one person may view what being married is like differently than the other. Although they may love each other, these different views can cause spats, and in the end, usually meld into one single view, with both sides sacrificing something.
Believe it or not, the first year of marriage can be an eye opener to things you didn't previously know about your spouse before getting married. You learn to grow together instead of as individuals. Its not THAT hard, but yes there can be some real trials in the first year of marriage.
I don't think the first year was the hardest. As a matter of fact, if you know your spouse well enough no year should be ';hard';. I believe some people feel this way because the first year is the year you ';test the waters'; and figure your spouse out. Unless you've lived with someone for an extended period of time you never know that person and they may have little quirks that get under your skin.
People start to think ';Oh hey, we are married, you should be acting like a wife, not a girlfriend.'; Or vise versa. Also, not all married couples lived together before getting married. Just for whatever reasons expectations change. And they think the other should magically change now that they are married.
Not really. I guess it depends on the couple though. For some, it's a tough transition but for others not so much.





It's not ';hard'; it's just a big change...you are no longer single and able to walk away so easily and on some level that reality eventually sinks in - committed or not.
I think it used to be harder because people didn't live together before they were married. No many live together and sort out many of the ';first year marriage'; issues before hand.
Marriage is hard - period!





Its hard when you get married because now its becomes US, its no longer a YOU deal.