Thursday, January 21, 2010

When is it too long to go without sex in a marriage?

Is divorce a remedy? We just got married within a year of today, and we have only had sex 4-5 times since then. I don't think I love him romantically, I think we are just really good friends. I am happy living with him. But I feel very dissatisfied. I have never beleived in divorce as an 'answer' to anything, but I always thought the problems would be different than this problem.When is it too long to go without sex in a marriage?
Lack of sex becomes a problem whenever either partner believes it is a problem. You obviously feel that way. Have you expressed this to your spouse? - in a calm, quiet, nonthreatening way outside of the bedroom? How frequent was the sex before marriage? Has your spouse been experiencing any health issues? work issues? other outside stressors? IS there a possibility that your spouse could be cheating %26amp; getting satisfied elsewhere? ( I hope not in the first year!)It seems that you need to talk a lot more - possibly go away for a weekend, where you will have no interruptions. If you cannot resolve this together, then you might want to try counseling, preferably together, bt alone if your spouse refuses. Marriage vows are too important to resort to divorce as a first solution. It should only be a last resort, when all else has been tried and failed. Good luck!When is it too long to go without sex in a marriage?
There is no to long or to often answer that fits everyone. If you're have sex twice a day or once a year and it works for both of you then thats fine. The problem is that your not satisfied with your sex life and that the two of you don't seem to be communicating about it. You need to talk to him about how you feel, whether or not he is happy with the way things are and what the two of you can work out together to fix it. If you have trouble discussing it then you might want to try couples therapy. Sometimes it takes someone from the outside to help you talk these things out. Good luck.
why do you not think it's not a remedy.. you or he married wrong


don't you think he is thinking the same thing ( divorce ) ?


the reason for such a high divorce rate ( and it is the remedy to a problem ) stems from the fact that so many people take marriage so lightly and never really want to work at it, they marry for all the wrong reasons, and like a Shiny new car, after a while you realize it was not a Ferarri Enzo you got, but a Ford ';hit me i am full of gas '; Pinto you are stuck with, so the eventual divorce remedy for a wrong match in the 1st place.
TALK TALK TALK. Talk to him about your concerns and see if he too is feeling this way.If you did not date very long before your marriage then that is the biggest problem in the first place.People think they know someone enough to marry in just a short time but in every relationship it takes a lot of time to really get to know someone.Marriage is a true lifetime commitment and people these days treat it like a game.Communication is the best key to a happy relationship.If you both are unhappy then it may come to Divorce but don't mistake DIVORCE for DEATH.They mean different things.Life does not end with divorce even though you may not think it is always the answer but it sure beats the heck out of living in Hell with the wrong man for life.Good Luck.
Divorce is not a remedy. But that's not the real topic here. I think you mistakenly married your best friend. There are more criteria to be met when considering a life partner--being best friends is only one of them. Granted, this is a very important thing.


Have you talked to your husband about this yet? He might be secretly pulling his hair out, too.


Put your cards on the table and see what happens.


Perhaps you guys just need to change the label of your regard for one another from married to very best of friends.
i would go back 1 year and ask yourself why you married this man. Did you love him? Im pretty sure he loves you and wants to have sex, but you may be pushing him away... I DONT think divorce is a remedy. It takes two to get married. I would fight for your marriage. Go to a counselor who wil not acept divorce to try to help you with underlying issues that may be going on... Good Luck,
For a young couple 4 or 5 times a week would be closer to normal. If this is the best you're getting you might want to think about moving on now. It's much easier than after having a child. Sorry!
is there any chance your husband is cheating? or gay? sounds like you have a big problem. may be better to cut your losses now before more time passes or you have a child to deal with.
5 x a year?? I don't typically condone divorce but it sounds like youve got a big problem and you have not even begun to experience real marital issues.
Actually ';marriage'; is never the answer.





Besides, if a person likes sex, why get married?
In your previous question you said you and your husband had sex like rabbits but he did not initiate. So which question is the real truth this one or the previous.
Is the problem physical or psychological? One day in a marriage is too long to go without it.
This will only get worse. He is either gay, or has a chronically low sex drive and no interest in fixing it. This will drive you crazy over time.
Ok i have been married within this year and we have sex at least 3 times a week *PLUS WE HAVE A 2 MONTH OLD* Before we had a baby it was 4 or 5 times a day... have you tried talking with him???
Blah.....doesn't marriage suck enough.....then the two of you don't even bump uglies. Whats the point?

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