What is your favorite joke about a wedding or about marriage?

I麓m going to E-mail my friend every other day, so want to start out with a joke.What is your favorite joke about a wedding or about marriage?
*Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ';y'; becomes silent.





*To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all !





*The tradition at weddings


A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, ';Mommy, why does the girl wear white?';





His mom replies, ';The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life.';





The boy thinks about this, and then says, ';Well then, why is the boy wearing black?';





*Love is a Quest


A lecturer delivering a talk on the demoralizing effect of legal seperation said, ';Love is a quest; the proposal a request; the giving in marriage a bequest; the actual marriage, a conquest.';





';What is a divorce?'; a voice from back asked.





Swift as lightning came the reply,';Ah, that's the inquest.';





*A little boy asked his father, ';Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'; And the father replied, ';I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.';





*A lady inserted an ';ad'; in the classifieds: ';Husband wanted';. Next day she received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: ';You can have mine.';





*A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her ';My Love';, ';Darling';, ';Sweetheart';, etc., etc.





His friend looked at him and said, ';That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names.';





The host said, ';Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name.';





*Why are married women heavier than single women?





Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge





ENJOY :-)What is your favorite joke about a wedding or about marriage?
A recent study was conducted to see what other foods besides chocolate and asparagus could be used as afradesiacts....





Surprisingly, they found many foods that were very effective in making men and women more attractive to one another. Champaigne, strawberries, chocolate, cherries and honey topped the list again and again.





However, in every case there was one food that made all the couples become less and less attracted and intrested in one another.





--Wedding cake.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of ';RINGS'; :


- The Engagement Ring


- The Wedding Ring


- The Suffer-Ring


- The Endue-Ring





Married life is full of excitement and frustration :


- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.


- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.


- In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen
This guy is married to a woman who has always been a nag. They go to Israel on a trip and while they are there the woman dies. The funeral director in Israel offers the man two options - they can ship the body back home for $5,000 or they can do the burial in Israel for $250.


The man thinks about it and decides to ship the body home. The funeral director asks why he would do that - the $250 is much cheaper and it would be very special to be buried in the Holy Land.


The man explains: ';Look, two thousand years ago there was a man who died and was buried here, and he came back to life - - I just can't take that chance.';
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess,


';I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so.';


That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, ';I don't think so!';
The secret of a happy marriage is still a secret.





A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'





The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
There is this man, and his wife, and whenever they have sex the man insists that they turn the lights off because he is insecure with his size. The woman obliges until one night when she gets fed up of it. In the middle of having sex she turns the light on to find the man using a vibrator. The woman says 'Can you explain this please?'. The man then says 'I will explain this if you can explain the kids.'
woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.





As she sat by him, he said, ';You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?';





';What dear?'; She asked gently.





';I think you bring me bad luck.';
Ever hear of the 3 rings of marriage?





the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring!





hahaaha oh laughing so hard *holding my side*
What did people about the wedding of two antennas?





The ceremony was bad but the reception was good.











A little electrical engineering wedding humor for ya.
50% of marriages end in divorce and the other 50% end in death, I don't like those odds!