And no, I am not thinking about getting married, nor I don't think I could anyway.How do you know when you're ready to settle down (Marriage)?
You just know sweetheart, you just know. Every thing comes together and there's no turning back. You just know.
Hugs kiddo!How do you know when you're ready to settle down (Marriage)?
A little different angle...
Once, after being together for two and a half years, I spoke with my boyfriend and we had both admitted to each other that if we were still together when we graduated college, we'd probably have a ceremony of some sort. We had decided that we were ready to settle down. Unfortunately he left me about two months later, because he was afraid that by being with me, he might be missing out on the experience of sexy-drunk college parties and random f*cking...
So, having seen that, even after years together, every day and every night, our decision that ';marriage'; was right for us, still was a decision made prematurely. I don't know if the idea of marriage is really something that you do ';know'; I think it is likely that this day in age, it is something that you just do.
I don't beat myself up over what happened, I was intoxicated by stupid romanticism (it always happens to me) but,what I can say is that, a relationship can crumble at any time, married or not. Whether you are ten years married, recently committed, you just live together, or you have only met twice, it is always possible that one of the two people involved will change his or her mind about things. At the moment a relationship becomes held up by only one party, and not both, it's probably over, no matter how long it has lasted. So I don't know that marriage is something anyone is ever really ready for, considering it's function as a contract of ';together forever'; has really become something less... well... forever.
I think in reality, marriage, or commitment, or the desire for marriage comes mostly when you look into your own relationship and think that there is no imaginable situation where you could want anyone else... or maybe, more-so, that there is no possibility that you want to think about being in a situation where you would need to look for someone else.
In either case, it comes mostly from old traditions. The idea that having a little grouping of people you know, all get dressed up to watch the two of you hold hands and talk about ideas of infinity has been something our culture has regarded as ';the next level'; for some time. And when you feel you are in a sweet and loving relationship, when you have been with this person closely, for any extended amount of time, and you've shuddered at the touch of their fingers grazing against your arm in a park somewhere, or their hands wrapped around your waist in line at a movie theater, it can be very easy to think that you never want anyone else in your life again, and it can be even easier to look up into a pair of familiar eyes and say ';marry me?'; believing that this will make you somehow closer.
Don't get me wrong, it is a wonderful idea. Yet, in an age when 1.2 out of every 2 marriages fail, and 1.8 out of every 2 engagements never actually reach marriage, in the world where prenuptial agreements and legal rights of property-rendered contracts all have to be signed, where every thought of contractual connection has been built in with fail-safes and what-if's, there is a very good chance that nobody really ';knows'; when they are right for marriage anymore at all, and that nobody ever did before either. When marriage was still sacred and unbreakable legally, marriages were also still arranged, and as soon as they became a thing of choice, we have protected our choice to leave the marriage behind. It is the nature of our human history, add rights and freedoms to a culture of people, and you will loose the real feeling that anything is truly forever.
Still, you can bet that even knowing all of this, it's for damn sure not gonna stop me from one day throwing all of my sardonic logic, my need to reason, and my Yale education right out the window, in exchange for the next person I find who knows just the way to smile so sweetly that I can't help thinking, ';this guy might be forever'; once again.
But who can say if it will really ever last?
I don't know. People who get married feel like that their partner is ';the one'; and that they're so ';in love'; but sometimes, it's just hormones talking and relationship leads to an end. It's sad. That's why there's so many divorces and whatnot.
Maybe it's time for marriage when you realize that being in love has nothing to do with being infatuated?
I tell my partner eveyday that if we could get married, I wouldn't want to...she finds this a little offensive, haha....I dunno, that'd be a whole new set of thoughts that I thought I'd never have to worry about...
But your question, I guess you know you're ready to settle down when staying in with your significant other is more appealing than clubs/bars.
Here is how I knew.
When I stopped thinking about the other women that were out there, that I might be missing out on. When most of the time my idea of a perfect evening was to go home, make dinner and curl up on the couch with her instead of going out to the bars and clubs.
It wasn't like lightning struck me in the head or anything. It was gradual, and then one day, I noticed all the things I was no longer interested in. Which made me look at the things I was interested in. And it all came back to making a life with my partner. That was 12 years ago.
L
When their pocket is the size of a walnut!
Or is it the prostate that's the size of a walnut?
Either way, you do it when the republicans are freaking out about our rights. Just to piss them off.
At least thats what i would do.
And im not gay.
Or am i...
You just know. Ric is right. You just know it, maybe it will make it forever, maybe it won't, but you'll never know until you try.
It's impossible to explain, but when your ready you will know. When you find your soul mate they will hold your heart in their hands, you won't be able to picture your life without them.
When you look at your lover while they're sleeping and you can't stop smiling at their stupid sleeping face.
When you are ready to give up on life.
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