My wife wants me to give up everything for my marriage, is that healthy?

She said that family is all about sacrifice and I agree with that. But she wants me to give up all my friends and things that I enjoy. She seems to think that anything that I like to do is taking away from our marriage. I think this is the most important thing in my life, but I feel like it might not be normal. What do you think?My wife wants me to give up everything for my marriage, is that healthy?
Is this a marriage or an adoption?





Peace.My wife wants me to give up everything for my marriage, is that healthy?
no keep ya independence , because it has back fired for me my husband is always around me and i wish he had more male friends like right now he is running his mouth to me as i type. so too much togetherness is not good and you don't want to resent her. family is important but having outside interests will make you better and her better. because i feel sufficated it was my own selfish doing and insecurity so sit her down atalk to her because bottle capping your spouse with rules only make ya angry bitter and unhappy to come home from work or just be stuck in the house on the weekend with them will make you very very angry .


so tell her you'll stay home on these day that wil be family day an these days will be our day of free time from one another were she can hang out with her friends or family and you hang with your male friends or brother etc. men need free time and women need free time in any relationship cus to much closeness can ruin a relationship being together 24/7 will make yall become enemies instead of lovers still. i've been married 7 years and i sleep upstairs and hes downstairs now see how my insecurity has messed up our closenss . if i would of let him just be free i'd get more love and adoration form him. instead of hearing that i'm a nag or clingy . its all my fault
keep the friends get rid of the controlling wife.
Seek help NOW! You are not one person. You are two idividuals with diffrent goals. If you can't get it figured out now your marriage will fall apart. Trust me. I've been there.
Family is NOT ';all about sacrifice';. Sacrifice IS very important, as you'll want your kids to have clothes and shoes and food and heat instead of buying yourself a set of $1000 golf clubs.





She's being majorly selfish. Put your foot down.





I'm not kidding. Put your foot down and let her know that you're willing to mature and grow with her, but she's asking you to give up things that are integral to your life.





So long as your freinds aren't criminals, and the ';things (you) enjoy'; aren't drugs, skydiving and a life of crime, then she's not being reasonable.





Tell her. She'll respect you for it.
you are two separate people who have chosen to spend the rest of your lives together.This doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hips.You really need to talk to your wife and explain to her that you do love her,but every one is entitled to a bit of time out to themselves.It doesn't matter if it's going for a walk,to the gym,fishing,or visiting a couple of mates.Hope it all works out for you.
no that isn't right nor is it healthy. Perhaps she's feeling neglected that you spend to much time with the boys. Why not try to smooth things over by suggesting you and her could pick up something together whether its a movie night or play a sport together or card night. Just so she feels you pay attention to her just as much as your male friends. I think once she see's your friends are not a threat but makes you happy. and she knows your making an effort to include her in something she'll back off.





If not this is not fair. She wouldn't want you to tell her she must get rid of all her friends and things she likes to do on the side.





besides in time you will resent her for this and this will hurt your marriage and you wont' be happy not having some down time for yourself. You can still be married and have different interest.





Just make sure you include her in something. I bet she's feeling you care more for the guys than your family so her nose is out of joint. and she doesn't know how to handle it correctly so instead she's given you an altimatum.





You should catch her too when she's in a good mood and not stressed out with housework or kids and let her know how imoportant this is to you. as you said its the most important thing in your life.. ( leave that out however she will feel hurt) she will think your buddies and your fun are more important than her and the family. but you need to let her know its very important to you. Bet she doesn't know that.





Good luck.
Yes, I think you should give some things up. Sounds like you ought to give her up.
Put your foot down immediately!! A marriage certificate is not a title of ownership. She's got issues. It's just as important to be an individual as to be a couple. If she can't get off her duff and get involved in some of your interests, wants to control all aspects of your social life, it's time to get out now before things turn worse.
sacrifice is one thing but over dominance is quite another. Do the same thing to her and let's see how she feels? It's supposed to be a gainful relationship, not stripping who you are.
This is not healthy or normal. Does your wife have her own friends ? My husband and I have our own friends as well as mutual friends, we both enjoy different activities and every now and then I go out without him and vice versa. But we also make sure we set time aside for us. We make sure that we are not neglecting each other or our home. I think that in a way this is very healthy for both of us, helps us realize that it's OK to be independent. I would suggest that you talk to your wife and find out what her true reasons are, does she not like or trust your friends ? Do you put your friends before her ? What ever the problem is...,. GET IT FIXED NOW. If you want your marriage to succeed, both of you must be on the same page.
Wow, and this subject comes up after the ceramony? Don't couples talk anymore about expectations of the marriage?.... You choose what you want to do and follow through with it. It sounds to me she is being totally unreasonable but then, are you a selfish pig? I don't know your situation.
I think she's being very selfish. She seems to have forgotten you're a human being. I actually encourage my husband to do things he likes with or without me. I prefer him to be happy, energized and satisfied with his life.


Unless of course, you and your friends enjoy strip clubs and boozing- then she's right.
this is sick...





you married the wrong chick. I give your marriage about 2 years of life expectancy
It depends. If you are spending more time with friends than her, she has a point. As the saying goes, ';You can't teach an old dog new tricks';. If you are allowing things to come between you and your wife now, chances are you will continue to. Best drop the practice early.
if she is the most important thing in your live and you love her,it's a small price if not, it's time to go
Get out of this mess now, before any children get subjected to this selfishness. Marriage is compromise, cooperation, and teamwork, not a complete surrender to somebody's insecurity complex.





Let me guess. If you're not sitting with her, you're supposed to be on the phone with her too, right?
it might not be normal i got no problem with that
No, you do not have to give up everything when you get married.


You are no longer single and you cannot continue to go out with the boys drinking %26amp; carousing around but you are not in prison either.
Don't let her do it! I feell in the same trap, lost all my friends, and all my interests were put way side. If a woman marries you to change you, then she isn't marrying you but someone she wants to change. You need outside interests to bring in and enrich your relationship, the trick is finding a proper balance. She needs to understand that or your marriage will not be a happy one.
Sounds like your wife is suffering with codependence. Marriage is not sacrifice or obligation. It is a union of two individuals that choose to share in the responsibilities of life together. Just remember that you had friends and other interest before you were married and she loved you enough to marry you. If she wants your habits to change, then how will that change you? Will you start to resent her? If she is codependent, it probably stems from childhood.
Sorry to read this. While being married can be the most enjoyable thing a man experiences, many times with the wrong person, it can be torture. Your wife was first attracted to you as you were before you got married.





You had/have friends %26amp; hobbies. You were busy %26amp; not always available. That made you sexy. If you give everything up for her, you will be unhappy. In her eyes, you will also be seen as neutered; always listening to her %26amp; no longer a ';challenge.';





Some women today are like that. Results, when you get divorced, you will have no friends while she still has hers from pre-kindergarten.


A good woman wants you to have friends; a jealous %26amp; controlling woman wants to pull your strings.





Then post divorce, when you start dating again,


ALL the women will ask ';so who's your friend/s


and how long have you known them?'; If the answer is none-they consider you an ax murderer.





The only time this is good advice is when your friends/hobbies are negative. Too much drinking? Limit time with friends but don't give em up 100%. You need a social outlet besides your wife. Or you become boring to her.





Good luck, I hope things work out. A good woman will want to discuss this with you. A controlling woman will demand that you obey her.
Run away from this controlling sociopath as fast as you can.
That's irrational, prioritize your Family but it doesn't mean that you should surrender your friends and things that could make your Life meaningful (not enjoyable, well it may also be). Perhaps she feels that these things will lessen your time spent with your Family so you should learn to divide your time fairly with everything and everyone. I'm leaving you with this Golden Rule ';Love God above all things';





All things are temporal
run like he!!.


this will get worse and worse. leave her, tonight, dont pack, send a friend to get your stuff. this will ruin your life.
I guess it depends on the circumstances. If your friends are anti social layabouts, drug addicts / alcoholics etc I am with her. But if they are genuine friends then a balance is what is needed - do you give her quality time with you? Do you allow her time with her friends?
If you do not find a way to dominate the woman you love you will find yourself up a creek without a paddle.men are supposed to be loving and also caring,but you are sharing a life together and not giving up your life for her,s,she will be your control freak only if you let her,have some backbone stand your ground and tell her that a woman told you so,if you do not believe me ask your mother if she is near,mothers are always right.
No - independence, individual interests, and FREEDOM- are a very important part of any type of relationship. Sound like she wants to put you in a cage and dead bolt it. I know I could never handle someone expecting me to give up things that are important to me. It will only lead to resentment.